Keeping My Husbands Heart Full

I won’t lie I have no reason to. For the longest time, I sat around pouting about what my husband was not doing to keep my heart full. Then something hit me. How am I keeping his heart full?  How am I showing him daily that I value and love him? 

Heart

When I sat down and looked at that list of me against him it was a very short one and I was not doing much for him these days without some amount of complaining and grumbling even if I didn’t say it out loud I am sure he knew what I was thinking.

So I have decided to make a change and I am still working at it. However, things are better. What is interesting is now he fills my heart more than ever without me saying a word. Interesting how that works huh?

 

1. My husband goes to work each day. I have been blessed to stay at home with my kids. So each morning even though I could stay all cozy in my bed I get up and make him coffee. We sit and talk. I kiss him goodbye and some time before his day is up I text him to say a simple I love you. I miss you. Thank you for giving up family time and working so hard. I appreciate you.

2. I am present when he comes home. I hang up the phone, walk away from the computer. I give him a hug and ask him about his day. I don’t sit and grumble about mine first. I listen. Then when he asks about mine I try to tell him a couple good thing and then the bad.

3. We all have little things that annoy us. I know I sure do there is a big list of them for me in fact. I have been trying harder to acknowledge things I find silly. I am sure there are things I insist upon silly I wonder how many things he does for me that he considers silly or pointless? So, when he asked me not to leave 15 different bottles of shower gels, shampoos and conditioners in the shower I started putting them away. Guess what… The shower is easier to clean, he is much happier and it takes me 30 seconds to do.

4. I think of him in quiet ways. Like when I am out buying treats for the kids I also think of things he has said he wanted to try or has been wanting to get for himself but won’t spend the money on because he puts us before him always.

5. I have stopped complaining about him all the time and tell people the wonderful things he does. Even if he never heard a word I spoke it was still showing up in my mood later that day. Instead, I find time to talk to him about what bothers me so he and I can work on it together. It has strengthened us both.

I still have bad days that I fall away from these things as does he. However, we are both working harder these days to show more love to one another even when we find ourselves busy and distracted.

I am participating in Mama Kat’s Writers Workshop using the writing prompt “Full”

 

 

Mama’s Losin’ It

Giving Him My Heart

So I told how myself and hubby met in my post about The Proposal I am sure you wonder what the rest of that looks like and why he now has my heart for always.

2 weeks before we married
Two weeks before we married out in front of Jordan Marsh South Portland, Maine

 

Just Married
Just Married. We were smiling. Young and foolish there was so much hard work in front of us.

 

The First Month

Imagine talking to someone on a phone for two months. While you may “get to know them” what you do not get to know is their everyday habits, mannerisms, issues, shortfalls, what makes them really angry, happy,  or sad. In basic you do not know how to live with this person on a moment to moment basis. The first month was figuring out neither of us know how to cook. That he was a messy person and I suddenly was not. That he had an ex who for years to come would make it her mission to now not only see him miserable but, to try it with me as well. We had very little money, we lived in a room, and walked everywhere. It was a messy struggle and made for very hard lessons.

The First Year

We eventually, within months moved to a large rooming house in Lewiston, Maine. The building owner left my husband and me in charge of running it. The building was in disrepair and condemned. Three floors, twenty-one rooms that needed fixing. Together him, myself and three other people brought it from unlivable to inspected and approved by the city code enforcement. It was a challenge but, it to this day is what I believe it started to pulled us, two strangers, closer. It was here that I helped raise his daughter who was 18 months old almost full time and would continue to do so for the next 13 years. It was here I became pregnant with our first child together. A tiny baby girl. We bought our first car together and ate many meals at Denny’s. It was also here that I made him chase me across the united states when I left him. not once but twice. Look, I didn’t say this was a fairy tale. Things were rocky at the times but, they were also good as well. We would move many times over the course of the next ten years and I left many times over the course of these years.

Welcome our first baby together
I love this photo. The way he was looking at her … the way he looked at all eight of them everytime they were born. He so loves being a father. We were welcoming our first child from our marriage.

 

Newborn
Our sweet newborn Chelsea. All 5 pounds six ounces of her.

 

Children
Just under two years, two children. I won’t lie it was hard. and there would be seven more children almost yearly. It was hard but, I would not change it. They were and will always be blessings.

 

Ten Years

When I turned 26 ten years in and many children later I packed up and left for what I deemed at the time for good. So many children and other stressors put wear on both of us. I loved him but, we were often bitter towards one another. I like to look back at those times and really think about them. They were true learning and growing years. We were both young and foolish. Our priorities were often lost. My answer was too often leave. So we never fully worked through anything.  So after three months, I came back to him with a promise that I have kept for 16 years. No more leaving, we will work on things together as husband and wife through good and bad just as we had vowed to do on the day we married that from this time forward he fully had my heart and wanted his as well.

26 Years

Our Anniversary came and went this year without anything more than us exchanging the words “Happy Anniversary” to each other. The difference these days is that stuff is not needed. We are happy and secure together. There is no card or gift that could express how we feel for each other. We have walked through hell together and came out on the other side holding hands walking side by side; and will continue to do so. We have discovered the secret to marriage. You become a unit. This is not just about what makes me happy or him happy.  It is about what is best for us as a unit. That day 16 years ago is when we truly became married. He still has my heart and I have his. That is the way it was meant to be.
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Mama’s Losin’ It