Giving Him My Heart

So I told how myself and hubby met in my post about The Proposal I am sure you wonder what the rest of that looks like and why he now has my heart for always.

2 weeks before we married
Two weeks before we married out in front of Jordan Marsh South Portland, Maine

 

Just Married
Just Married. We were smiling. Young and foolish there was so much hard work in front of us.

 

The First Month

Imagine talking to someone on a phone for two months. While you may “get to know them” what you do not get to know is their everyday habits, mannerisms, issues, shortfalls, what makes them really angry, happy,  or sad. In basic you do not know how to live with this person on a moment to moment basis. The first month was figuring out neither of us know how to cook. That he was a messy person and I suddenly was not. That he had an ex who for years to come would make it her mission to now not only see him miserable but, to try it with me as well. We had very little money, we lived in a room, and walked everywhere. It was a messy struggle and made for very hard lessons.

The First Year

We eventually, within months moved to a large rooming house in Lewiston, Maine. The building owner left my husband and me in charge of running it. The building was in disrepair and condemned. Three floors, twenty-one rooms that needed fixing. Together him, myself and three other people brought it from unlivable to inspected and approved by the city code enforcement. It was a challenge but, it to this day is what I believe it started to pulled us, two strangers, closer. It was here that I helped raise his daughter who was 18 months old almost full time and would continue to do so for the next 13 years. It was here I became pregnant with our first child together. A tiny baby girl. We bought our first car together and ate many meals at Denny’s. It was also here that I made him chase me across the united states when I left him. not once but twice. Look, I didn’t say this was a fairy tale. Things were rocky at the times but, they were also good as well. We would move many times over the course of the next ten years and I left many times over the course of these years.

Welcome our first baby together
I love this photo. The way he was looking at her … the way he looked at all eight of them everytime they were born. He so loves being a father. We were welcoming our first child from our marriage.

 

Newborn
Our sweet newborn Chelsea. All 5 pounds six ounces of her.

 

Children
Just under two years, two children. I won’t lie it was hard. and there would be seven more children almost yearly. It was hard but, I would not change it. They were and will always be blessings.

 

Ten Years

When I turned 26 ten years in and many children later I packed up and left for what I deemed at the time for good. So many children and other stressors put wear on both of us. I loved him but, we were often bitter towards one another. I like to look back at those times and really think about them. They were true learning and growing years. We were both young and foolish. Our priorities were often lost. My answer was too often leave. So we never fully worked through anything.  So after three months, I came back to him with a promise that I have kept for 16 years. No more leaving, we will work on things together as husband and wife through good and bad just as we had vowed to do on the day we married that from this time forward he fully had my heart and wanted his as well.

26 Years

Our Anniversary came and went this year without anything more than us exchanging the words “Happy Anniversary” to each other. The difference these days is that stuff is not needed. We are happy and secure together. There is no card or gift that could express how we feel for each other. We have walked through hell together and came out on the other side holding hands walking side by side; and will continue to do so. We have discovered the secret to marriage. You become a unit. This is not just about what makes me happy or him happy.  It is about what is best for us as a unit. That day 16 years ago is when we truly became married. He still has my heart and I have his. That is the way it was meant to be.
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11 thoughts on “Giving Him My Heart

    • Yes, it was a struggle. The important thing is what we learned from those struggles because a few of our children have mental health issues and our strength would be needed and our faith would be tested time and time again. So our never give up attitude has carried us.

  1. Ahh, I loved this. The ups and downs of marriage. Mike and I have been through some. Many do not know how down some of those times have been. Many do not know that he and I were separated for 9 months a couple years back but continued to work on our marriage. Now we are stronger and happier. We met online and our beginning marriage was about getting to know one another, me the messy one and him not. LOL. 17 years of marriage, 3 kids and faith……….faith is the key to how we have made it this far.

  2. Those years in the midst of the pressure and unrelenting pace of raising children are so stressful. It is easy to become frustrated and bitter with each other because there is so much to do and only the two of you to do it. Glad you stuck it out. Congratulations!

  3. This is both such a heartbreaking and beautiful piece – so many of newlyweds go into marriage thinking that it’s love and roses, but in reality, there is a lot of work. Life happens. Arguments happen. And you have to work at it.
    Thank you for being so open with your story.
    The ending “You become a unit.” is what I love the most out of all.
    And those acid wash jeans baby! Girl I had a pair of those too!

  4. This is a great reflection of your years together. And no, it’s not all “wedded bliss” whatever that is!
    Love the pics, too. And the late 80s fashion!

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